What you think about a person obviously has a major impact on whether you allow yourself to be influenced or not. But liking also works “the other way around” – you are more easily influenced by people who say or demonstrate that they like you, or what you do.
The world’s most successful car salesman is said to have been Joe Girard from Detroit. He was probably neither better nor worse than others at selling cars, but every month he sent a personal card to his customers with the text: “I like you”. And since most people like to be liked, customers contacted Joe Girard when it was time to change cars. The trick still works, and in today’s digital world it is much easier to implement.
There are more ways to become appreciated and liked. One you may already have encountered is the so-called halo effect. This means, for example, that if you look good and dress in a way that does not deviate too much from the person you are speaking with, the other party will assume that what you have to say also makes sense. In some industries there are still dress codes that are worth adapting to.
Another way to become liked, is to refer to one or more mutual friends. Some companies systematically build referral chains – you get a benefit, such as extra cloud storage, if you recommend people or companies that you think could benefit from the supplier’s product or service. We are also positively influenced if the person we talk to reminds us of ourselves – has the same background, the same education, supports the same football team, shares the same hobbies, and so on.
Friends do not even need to be present for this behavioral pattern to be triggered. Sometimes you can simply ask satisfied customers if they know someone that might have a need of your services. When these persons are contacted, you open the conversation with: “Your friend so-and-so suggested that I contact you…” Rejecting the salesperson in that situation is very difficult – it almost feels like rejecting your friend.
A classic example of using friends as a “sales person” is when Airbnb offered their customers to give a 25 USD discount to a friend, if they allowed the offer to be sent in their name. The gift card had a personal statement “Your friend Jason gave you 25 USD off your first trip with Airbnb. Be sure to say thanks”. The conversion of new customers increased with several 100 percent.
Finally, giving compliments is a reliable tool when you want to influence. Most people are starved for positive feedback, and it may be enough to praise a customer’s office décor or handbag to create the right vibes.
If you want to discuss persuation and communication, you are always welcome to contact ulf@sfinxconsulting.se
